Appham is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, happy elephant.

Appham created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Appham, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Appham, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Appham's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Appham's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Appham in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not dye your hair black.

4. Always help tapirs.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.