Bonksogstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, stupid tapir.

Bonksogstrag created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonksogstrag, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bonksogstrag, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bonksogstrag's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bonksogstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. You must never eat tomatoes.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bonksogstrag.

4. Always help cats in need.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Bonksogstrag on top of all buildings.