Bepvilfut is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, irritating spider.

Bepvilfut created viruses two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepvilfut, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bepvilfut, she will ignore you.

Bepvilfut's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Bepvilfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt monkeys.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Never write about special relativity.

4. You must pray to Bepvilfut three times a day.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near voles while wearing brown skirts and balancing six carbon spheres on your hands.