Flatcadlarn is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, idiotic whale.

Flatcadlarn created the Virgo Supercluster three million years ago.

If you believe in Flatcadlarn, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Flatcadlarn, he will be very unhappy.

Flatcadlarn's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Flatcadlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a room before entering it.

3. Never talk about dark matter near great tits while wearing blue ear rings and balancing eight nickel spheres on your neck.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Flatcadlarn must be the most important thing in your life.