Ingmilhiv is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unselfish turtle.

Ingmilhiv created life three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ingmilhiv, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ingmilhiv, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ingmilhiv's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Ingmilhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not hurt bats.

3. Ingmilhiv must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never hurt manatees.

5. Hide if five goats approach from the west.