Nillfodcam is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, overgenerous seal.

Nillfodcam created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nillfodcam, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nillfodcam, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Nillfodcam's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Nillfodcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in holy places.

2. Never feed peas to ants while wearing shirts.

3. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Worship no other gods but Nillfodcam.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.