Yarlpitstrag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, tiresome shrew.

Yarlpitstrag created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Yarlpitstrag, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yarlpitstrag, she will turn you into a hamster.

Yarlpitstrag's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Yarlpitstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yarlpitstrag first in all things.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never pour water over plants.