Kipmildin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, charitable fish.

Kipmildin created dark matter six million years ago.

If you believe in Kipmildin, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Kipmildin, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Kipmildin's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Kipmildin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear indigo boots.

2. Never feed bread to snails while wearing shorts.

3. Run away from orange gulls, for they are unholy.

4. Never hurt bats.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.