Tinfenvag is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, weak seal.

Tinfenvag created gold three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tinfenvag, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tinfenvag, she will jump up and down on your head.

Tinfenvag's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Tinfenvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. You must love Tinfenvag.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Never chant near squirrels.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.