Kemflancam is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unselfish eagle.

Kemflancam created the cosmos two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemflancam, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Kemflancam, he will turn you into a duck.

Kemflancam's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Kemflancam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair mauve.

2. You must pray to Kemflancam five times a day.

3. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never laugh near tapirs.

5. Pray towards the east.