Tintanwip Mutdavweeminominsingemgum is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, benevolent meerkat.

Tintanwip Mutdavweeminominsingemgum created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Tintanwip Mutdavweeminominsingemgum, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tintanwip Mutdavweeminominsingemgum, it will try to impress you with trees.

Tintanwip Mutdavweeminominsingemgum's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Tintanwip Mutdavweeminominsingemgum's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a room before entering it.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Tintanwip Mutdavweeminominsingemgum loves whales, so they must be respected.