Hoggutcun is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, almighty hippopotamus.

Hoggutcun created an up quark two years ago.

If you believe in Hoggutcun, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hoggutcun, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Hoggutcun's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Hoggutcun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Put Hoggutcun first in all things.

5. Hide from pink geese for they are unholy.