Fenpanwap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, resourceful faun.

Fenpanwap created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenpanwap, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Fenpanwap, she will turn you into a goat.

Fenpanwap's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Fenpanwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a building before entering it.

2. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

3. Hide from violet turtles for they are unholy.

4. Never run near seals.

5. Never look in ponds.