Bissapp is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, calm swan.

Bissapp created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bissapp, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bissapp, it will turn you into a tree.

Bissapp's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bissapp's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Bissapp in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a building before entering it.

3. You must pray to Bissapp three times a day.

4. Never look at dwarf planets.

5. Worship no other gods but Bissapp.