Pitfitbig is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, contented eagle.

Pitfitbig created the Cigar Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitfitbig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pitfitbig, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pitfitbig's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Pitfitbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never eat parsnips.

3. Erect four tin sculptures of Pitfitbig on top of important buildings.

4. Learn six new languages a year.

5. Do not skip in public.