Yatgenzed is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, omniscient horse.

Yatgenzed created dark matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatgenzed, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yatgenzed, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Yatgenzed's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Yatgenzed's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yatgenzed first in all things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never feed tomatoes to turtles while wearing shirts.

4. Do not take Yatgenzed's name in vain.

5. Never feed lentils to birds while wearing black skirts.