Muttomgep is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, pitiless snake.

Muttomgep created dark matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Muttomgep, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Muttomgep, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Muttomgep's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Muttomgep's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about special relativity near monkeys while wearing white trousers and balancing five carbon spheres on your legs.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Run away if seven squirrels approach from the south.

4. Always obey Muttomgep's priests.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Muttomgep.