Litflowcankim is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, duplicitous fish.

Litflowcankim created the Large Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Litflowcankim, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Litflowcankim, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Litflowcankim's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Litflowcankim's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Litflowcankim.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near doves while wearing brown ear rings and balancing three aluminium spheres on your face.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.