Betpagstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, duplicitous donkey.

Betpagstrag created oxygen three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Betpagstrag, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Betpagstrag, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Betpagstrag's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Betpagstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Do not keep four grasshopers in a large pit.

3. Never think about thermodynamics.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about dark energy near dolphins while wearing cyan shirts.