Ortbisscap is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, capable faun.

Ortbisscap created a strange quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortbisscap, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Ortbisscap, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Ortbisscap's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Ortbisscap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat garlic.

2. Never think ill of sick swans.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. You must pray to Ortbisscap six times a day.