Bonkipgupfottigwik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, annoying bird.

Bonkipgupfottigwik created the Sombrero Galaxy six million years ago.

If you believe in Bonkipgupfottigwik, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bonkipgupfottigwik, he will turn you into a mouse.

Bonkipgupfottigwik's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Bonkipgupfottigwik's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bonkipgupfottigwik eight times a day.

2. Do not eat turnips.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Never write about nucleic acids.