Nelwadquart is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, loving raccoon.

Nelwadquart created light two years ago.

If you believe in Nelwadquart, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nelwadquart, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Nelwadquart's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Nelwadquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat limes.

2. Never jump near snails.

3. Run away from mauve swans, for they are unholy.

4. Never wear shirts.

5. Do not sing in public.