Volfutstipstan is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, flying swan.

Volfutstipstan created the Cigar Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volfutstipstan, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Volfutstipstan, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Volfutstipstan's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Volfutstipstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never feed strawberries to dolphins while wearing mauve scarves.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Always help sick voles.