Jatbenapp Quartfudgun is a god.
He takes the form of a fat, almighty
centipede.
Jatbenapp Quartfudgun created light nine quadrillion years ago.
If you believe in
Jatbenapp Quartfudgun, he will give you lots of grapes.
If you do not believe in
Jatbenapp Quartfudgun, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.
Jatbenapp Quartfudgun's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.
Jatbenapp Quartfudgun's Holy Commandments1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.
2. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Jatbenapp Quartfudgun in the centre of the settlement.
3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.
4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.
5. Never talk about fire.