Gebominfar Fagsisbonk is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, kind goblin.

Gebominfar Fagsisbonk created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebominfar Fagsisbonk, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gebominfar Fagsisbonk, she will turn you into a worm.

Gebominfar Fagsisbonk's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gebominfar Fagsisbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Run away if four hamsters approach from the east.

5. You must love Gebominfar Fagsisbonk.