Pangzublin is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, competent fairy.

Pangzublin created matter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangzublin, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Pangzublin, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Pangzublin's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Pangzublin's Holy Commandments

1. Pangzublin loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Never play with disobedient children.