Litcanvag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, compassionate fly.

Litcanvag created matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Litcanvag, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Litcanvag, it will turn you into a worm.

Litcanvag's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Litcanvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

2. Run away from purple goats, for they are unholy.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Erect a giant white sculpture of Litcanvag in the centre of the settlement.