Bamnurtzog is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, witless fish.

Bamnurtzog created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamnurtzog, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bamnurtzog, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bamnurtzog's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Bamnurtzog's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are not to be trusted.

2. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Feed all hungry nematodes.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.