Hasnabfed Pinwotarfraw is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, stupid crane.

Hasnabfed Pinwotarfraw created everything that exists eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hasnabfed Pinwotarfraw, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hasnabfed Pinwotarfraw, he will ignore you.

Hasnabfed Pinwotarfraw's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Hasnabfed Pinwotarfraw's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hasnabfed Pinwotarfraw.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not trade with those who eat limes.