Tamtondimbonkgovfatquatwat is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, self-confident raccoon.

Tamtondimbonkgovfatquatwat created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Tamtondimbonkgovfatquatwat, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tamtondimbonkgovfatquatwat, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tamtondimbonkgovfatquatwat's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Tamtondimbonkgovfatquatwat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to seals while wearing coats.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not listen to music.