Sanpagcud is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, staggering seal.

Sanpagcud created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sanpagcud, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Sanpagcud, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Sanpagcud's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Sanpagcud's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never hurt ducks.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not wear red clothing.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.