Kanfardot Femfagtig is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, duplicitous tortoise.

Kanfardot Femfagtig created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kanfardot Femfagtig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kanfardot Femfagtig, she will manifest in front of you.

Kanfardot Femfagtig's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Kanfardot Femfagtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near eagles.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Kanfardot Femfagtig.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Kanfardot Femfagtig.