Fitkabcusstarp is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, humorless hummingbird.

Fitkabcusstarp created the Andromeda Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Fitkabcusstarp, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fitkabcusstarp, it will turn you into a slug.

Fitkabcusstarp's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Fitkabcusstarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Do not speak about carrots.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never feed lots of corn to swans while wearing cyan corsets.