Fublistomin Jopyimlan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, dishonourable bird.

Fublistomin Jopyimlan created viruses two million years ago.

If you believe in Fublistomin Jopyimlan, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Fublistomin Jopyimlan, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fublistomin Jopyimlan's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Fublistomin Jopyimlan's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Fublistomin Jopyimlan on top of all buildings.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not drink water in black rooms.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never think ill of sick horses.