Gudbunbedcimquartgabbonkbiss is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unsympathetic weasel.

Gudbunbedcimquartgabbonkbiss created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gudbunbedcimquartgabbonkbiss, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gudbunbedcimquartgabbonkbiss, it will remove you from existence.

Gudbunbedcimquartgabbonkbiss' most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Gudbunbedcimquartgabbonkbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not kill mice.

4. Never hop near dolphins.

5. Never think about quantum gravity.