Dossfonbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, fast cow.

Dossfonbonk created the Whirlpool Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Dossfonbonk, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dossfonbonk, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Dossfonbonk's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Dossfonbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Dossfonbonk in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never write about optics.

4. Do not wear white clothing.

5. Respect your elders.