Somquamyarl is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, idiotic ant.

Somquamyarl created humanity two years ago.

If you believe in Somquamyarl, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Somquamyarl, she will be mildly annoyed.

Somquamyarl's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Somquamyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. You must love Somquamyarl.

4. You must never eat oranges.

5. Never go into green rooms.