Paknarlgil is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, temperamental hippopotamus.

Paknarlgil created Africa nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Paknarlgil, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Paknarlgil, it will torture you forever.

Paknarlgil's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Paknarlgil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine shrews in a large pit.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Paknarlgil.

3. Never mention bats.

4. Do not take Paknarlgil's name in vain.

5. Erect a giant green sculpture of Paknarlgil in the centre of the settlement.