Gumflamdap is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, moody jaguar.

Gumflamdap created a Higgs boson five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumflamdap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gumflamdap, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Gumflamdap's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Gumflamdap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not hurt snails.

4. Never feed cucumbers to hamsters while wearing indigo dresses.

5. Never talk about gravity.