Betpodhatman is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, narcissistic gorilla.

Betpodhatman created gold seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Betpodhatman, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Betpodhatman, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Betpodhatman's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Betpodhatman's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat lemons.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Great tits are not to be trusted.

5. Always pray immersed in water.