Hombunyik Jinxenwap is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, temperamental gnu.

Hombunyik Jinxenwap created the Large Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Hombunyik Jinxenwap, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Hombunyik Jinxenwap, he will jump up and down on your head.

Hombunyik Jinxenwap's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Hombunyik Jinxenwap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

3. Feed all hungry monkeys.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.