Cunvedquafgenzenquart is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, merciless seal.

Cunvedquafgenzenquart created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Cunvedquafgenzenquart, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cunvedquafgenzenquart, she will destroy your favourite star.

Cunvedquafgenzenquart's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Cunvedquafgenzenquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Always take life seriously.