Bastlagtun is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, charitable centipede.

Bastlagtun created the planet Earth six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastlagtun, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bastlagtun, he will turn you into a goat.

Bastlagtun's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Bastlagtun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never write about photosynthesis.

4. Hide from mauve frogs for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.