Liklamkarjat is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, duplicitous shrew.

Liklamkarjat created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Liklamkarjat, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Liklamkarjat, she will turn you into a duck.

Liklamkarjat's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Liklamkarjat's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near eagles while wearing white stockings and balancing three tin spheres on your legs.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about tortoises.

5. Always pray immersed in water.