Larprutbessort is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, sapient raccoon.

Larprutbessort created the Cigar Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Larprutbessort, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Larprutbessort, it will turn you into a hamster.

Larprutbessort's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Larprutbessort's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in purple.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never hurt badgers.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never hop near swans.