Hakkingon Ortkipnel is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, confident otter.

Hakkingon Ortkipnel created energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakkingon Ortkipnel, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hakkingon Ortkipnel, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Hakkingon Ortkipnel's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Hakkingon Ortkipnel's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.