Hoghaktin is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, overgenerous turtle.

Hoghaktin created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hoghaktin, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hoghaktin, it will ignore you.

Hoghaktin's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Hoghaktin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill gulls.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Fast once a month.