Getfubdin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, calm turtle.

Getfubdin created carbon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Getfubdin, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Getfubdin, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Getfubdin's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Getfubdin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Getfubdin loves horses, so they must be respected.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. You must never eat bread.