Popyaknartsitnutvagtonkwee is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, generous seal.

Popyaknartsitnutvagtonkwee created a charm quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Popyaknartsitnutvagtonkwee, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Popyaknartsitnutvagtonkwee, he will try to impress you with trees.

Popyaknartsitnutvagtonkwee's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Popyaknartsitnutvagtonkwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never wear turquoise scarves.

3. Mice are not to be trusted.

4. Never talk about photosynthesis.

5. Learn five new languages a year.