Farnquimpakstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, self-assured squirrel.

Farnquimpakstrag created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Farnquimpakstrag, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Farnquimpakstrag, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Farnquimpakstrag's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Farnquimpakstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Put Farnquimpakstrag first in all things.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Draw representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.